Sometimes I wonder, why I'm trying to kill myself.
No, I'm not suicidal...or at least, not anymore. I just stay up really late. Like tonight for example. It's 6am, and I have spent the last...oh, I don't know, four hours updating this blog.
Sure, I could have done this in the morning...or let me be for accurate, in the afternoon. For years now I have stayed up late while doing things I should be doing in the morning, like cleaning my entire room (underneath the bed and all), I've folded clothes, cleaned the shower, tried on make-up, and washed my hair, all of which has occurred between the hours or midnight and 7am.
There's something about the night that I like, however, the distinct morning-y morning of the morning is just lovely. I just like being up. Waking up naturally in the morning is one of the best feelings in the world to me. Yet at night I stay up doing meaningless task till dawn and then sleep through the morning (and sometimes the afternoon).
Being a vampire never used to bother me so much until now. As a kid in middle and high school being a vampire was cool, and an easy segway into a joke. Now, with vampires being overwelling and college breaking down my door of false realities, being a vampire isn't only kinda lame, but also not smart.
As I write this, the sun is starting to come up and it's almost (not really) bright enough to turn off my desk light. The problem with this is I have a number of things to do since I'm going to visit my cousin in Tennessee on Thursday (for one thing I haven't packed anything), and if I go to sleep now I won't wake up at noon. I can guarantee that.
But alas...what usually catches me is either a new manga I find on my favorite manga reader site, watching Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes on Netflix, watching Batman: The Animated Series online, or watching youtube videos (tonight being SortedFood). Sometimes (like tonight) I do multiple throughout the night.
Well...for now, all I know is that it's got to change.
Fall semester starts in a month.
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